5) A time you thought about ending your own life.
Lets start heavy! Well the last 6 months or so have been a shit show, and I am very proud to say that I haven’t have any attempts, but I have had a lot of suicidal ideations. The one that is at the forefront of my mind was over winter break when I was at home and there was a trigger and I had a massive panic attack, and certain family members thought that I was being manipulative and started piling on. I ended up rocking in the fetal position for over an hour and I couldn’t calm down, it was a bad one.
22) How have you changed in the past 2 years?
I have changed so much in the past two years. Two years ago I had just left my job at Disney and was taking one class at a junior college to finish up my AA while regretting leaving NYU and about to date the biggest asshole I have dated in my short romantic history. I like to think I have learned a lot since then, at the very least I have gotten a whole lot more independent and I have almost finished up my bachelors degree. I’m also a lot less afraid of speaking my mind than I used to be, which I think is a positive change.
28) Something that you miss.
Being younger and not realizing how much fuck ups can actually screw you over. Thankfully I was a good kid, so I didn’t do anything that had long term consequences, but I miss caring less (and anyone who knew me back then would probably have a hard time believing that was me caring less). But I miss being the 15 year old at a junior college that everyone was impressed by, who kind of skated along, and cared enough, but not so much that she drove herself insane.
I miss being Jailbait.